Surprise date

This is a very quick post to document the surprise date my awesome husband planned for us last night. The only thing he told me was, "Wear a (loose) dress." It started at Fired Pie (awesome, btw), followed by going to a 1940s swing dance at Falcon Field, complete with a live band. It's been about 11 years since I've done any Lindy Hop (or much of any dancing) and we definitely stumbled through it, but we had such a fun time. I don't think I stopped smiling the whole night. We took this (blurry) shot with my cell phone before going into the dance. I have a pretty great husband.

the story of us

I was reading through a list of journal jar questions and came across this:

What convinced you most in your choice of a spouse?

This is a question worth answering, one I want my kids and grandkids to know the answer to.

Wendel and I have known each other for a long time. We knew each other in high school, mostly because we were in the same ward. His family moved to Mesa, Arizona from Zionsville, Indiana his Junior year of high school. I was in Utah at the time but moved back my Junior year / his Senior year. We were only ever acquaintances in high school (this post explains all about that). Picking up from that post, we parted ways that summer of 99, when Wendel was dropping me off from a date and I thought he was going to kiss me. I stepped away and told him I really wanted to serve a mission (which he already knew), I was writing a missionary and I was dating someone else (Wendel and I had only been casually dating - I was casually dating others and one guy I was seeing was getting a bit more serious). He was supportive of my mission, which always impressed me, but I think he figured things wouldn't work out between us. We left on a positive note but with no intention to write to each other while I was gone or try to date in the future. I remember thinking he was such a fun guy and it would be fun to get to know him better and spend more time with him. The timing wasn't right though.

We really stated dating seriously after my mission. While I was on my mission, I worked with a family from Russia. I thought about writing to Wendel, because he served his mission in Russia, but I never did. I received a letter while on my mission from one of our mutual friends, Julie Berky. In her letter, she mentioned Wendel Schultz was engaged. I didn't think much of it, other than I was happy for him, until I got home from my mission.

My mom not only got married and moved to a new town while I was on my mission, but she and her husband moved into my mission president's (old) house! I came home to a new family - two step-brothers and a step-sister and a step-father I had never met. I was working full-time at a bank as an Administrative Assistant (thanks to my step-dad for helping me get the job) and spent my free time working out, sometimes hanging out with girls from my ward or my sister, Lindsey, going to the gym or walking/running in my neighborhood, or reading scriptures and writing in my journal.

I was heartbroken about a boy and trying to move on. Things had not worked out at all with the guy I wrote to for three years (while we both served our missions...seriously thought I was going to marry that guy). There was another guy I had also written while on my mission. Things were pretty serious with him too. He actually proposed to me before I left and I told him no. He wrote to me faithfully and would've married me. I loved him and loved his family but I just didn't feel right about it. He wasn't the best person for me so I told him not to be at the airport when I came home. His mom later told me the day he got that letter from me, he proposed to the girl he had been dating. Even though he was engaged, he still came to my homecoming. It was very uncomfortable for me and I even doubted my decision to break things off with him. I went to his wedding reception and felt like my heart was breaking. It was a difficult time. I had dated a few guys since I'd been home but nothing serious.  One was a guy I had a crush on since 6th grade. I would write my name with his last name all through school and dreamed of marrying him someday. He was visiting Utah and asked me out. We had fun together and he is a great guy. We loved dancing together and picked up right where we left off with that. We even tried to do the long distance thing (he was living in Arizona at the time) but I felt like our communication wasn't very good and it just wasn't happening. There was another guy who turned out to be completely wrong for me in every way and ending that relationship was a very good decision.

I had been home six months and Wendel had crossed my mind a time or two, mostly because my sister (who loved Wendel when we dated before) kept bringing him up. She told me I should email him, almost daily. I told her he was married and she told me to at least tell him congratulations. I finally figured I could at least do that. I sent him an email telling him I heard he got married and congratulating him. He wrote back and told me he was never engaged and didn't know what I was talking about. He said he had tried emailing me at my old email address about once a month from the time he knew I was coming home from my mission. He then asked, "Dinner sometime?" That was in October of 2002. On our first date (for the second time), we talked on the front porch, which led to the living room, until 4:00 am. We hadn't held hands or kissed at this point. We were just talking and laughing and we couldn't get enough. I couldn't remember the last time I smiled so much. I felt so comfortable and happy and couldn't wait to see him again. He was down in Provo, going to school at BYU, and I was living in Centerville at my mom and step-dad's house. He came up a lot and I went down to Provo sometimes too. In December we took a road trip to Arizona together and unbeknown to me, he had a ring with him. It was also on that trip that the roads were closed in Flagstaff due to bad weather and we had to get a hotel...together. We had a rule in that hotel that we would only kiss in the hallway, not in the room, and we slept in separate beds. It worked but I was falling in love with him, which meant all sorts of anxiety flags were going up for me.

Luckily, he did not propose to me on that trip. He actually thought he lost the ring and was very worried about it. He didn't tell me he had a ring but said he lost something very important and from the way he was talking, I thought it could be a ring, which freaked me out. We had only been seriously dating for two months! I had always been nervous about marriage; sure, it was fun to think about being married someday but when it came down to it, I was terrified and didn't know how I would ever take that leap of faith with anyone. My parents are divorced and I saw several unhappy marriages to add to my "quiver" of reasons why the thought of marriage gave me an anxiety attack (literally). There was my dad, who told me how difficult marriage is, and bribed me not to get married until I was 24 with the promise of a car if I kept my end of the bargain (which I did...and I never did see that car). He also wanted me to kiss 10 guys before I got married and Wendel just so happened to be #9. Now, my dad was probably just pulling a number out - not being literal but just asking me to date several guys before settling down for the rest of my life. But to a teenage girl who hung on to every word her dad ever told her, I took it very literally. I did not want to repeat his mistakes and if this was his advice and wisdom, I would take it. And I did.

Wendel did propose to me in December of 2002. He knew by this point just how nervous I was about marriage. I knew he had a ring, as he had told me he did, and I had told him I wasn't ready for it yet. He said he was okay with that and we could take it slowly. But one evening in December I was leaving his house in Provo to drive back up to Centerville. He had told me to come back if the roads were bad. The roads ended up being so bad, I could hardly see in front of me. I called him and told him I was coming back to sleep on his couch because the roads weren't safe. When I was in his house for the second time that evening, he started walking toward me in the living room and stumbled a little, saying something was wrong with his knee. I thought he was hurt but then saw him kneeling in front of me, holding a little white box. My heart started racing as he opened it and I saw the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was exactly my taste; simple but beautiful. He told me he loved me and asked me if I would be his wife. I didn't answer right away. I was surprised and nervous and excited all at once. I then said yes and threw my arms around him. It felt right to say yes; I never felt that it was wrong. However, it only took a day or two for the anxiety to come back. I took the ring off and told him I couldn't be engaged right now.

It was the way he reacted that convinced me most in my choice of my spouse. 

He was understanding. He was patient. He held me and cried with me. He told me he would wait and work through this with me if this is what I wanted. He paid for me to go to counseling to work through the anxiety. He gave me space. He drove up to Centerville more than once, late and night, when I called him crying and just needed him to be there with me. His heart took a beating during the next two years, as we were engaged a total of three times before actually getting married. At one point, I broke things off entirely and moved to Logan, where I attended Utah State for a semester. I even dated someone else while I was there, and that absolutely broke Wendel's heart. I feel badly about that now but I was scared and needed space. That space and time away from Wendel helped me realize I didn't want to live my life without him. Wendel called and asked me if I would go to dinner with him on Valentine's Day. The guy I was dating also wanted to take me out on Valentine's Day. He had recently told me he loved me and I knew things were getting more serious from his point of view. I knew I had to make a decision. I told this guy I wanted to spend Valentine's Day with Wendel (whom he knew I was engaged to previously). He was completely shocked and hurt, which is understandable. He told me he needed time away from me and I told him I was going to spend some time with Wendel, as I still had feelings for him. Spending time with Wendel again felt so right. I felt like I was coming home. I spent a lot of time on my knees and at the temple, praying and pleading for guidance about Wendel. Over and over again, I felt peace come to my heart and the Spirit wash over me. I knew, without any doubt, it was right and pleasing to my Heavenly Father to marry him. It still scared me to take the leap of faith and I still had a million "what if" questions floating around in my mind. But after that semester in Logan, I told Wendel I wanted to marry him - for real this time - and for the third time, he asked me to be his wife. I told him I wouldn't be able to wear the ring until our wedding day, which I felt would help with the anxiety. He completely understood.

I spent ten days of our engagement in Australia, with my favorite mission companion (which was previously planned before we got engaged for the third time). This helped with my anxiety, to not be there planning the wedding. Wendel emailed me pictures of the invitations and other things and I gave my input. I came home a couple of weeks before our wedding. I had received several blessings from my step-dad, Dave, about Wendel. In one, he had told me when I walked through the doors of the temple on my wedding day, all of the anxiety I felt would wash away and I would feel complete peace about marrying Wendel. I wanted to believe this and held onto it fiercely. I was terrified I would be like the girl on "Runaway Bride" and run out of the temple crying. But as I exercised my faith, that blessing came to pass. I walked into the Bountiful, Utah temple on June 16, 2004 and saw Wendel standing there, smiling at me. I felt every bit of anxiety leave me and felt the Spirit wash over me. I felt joy and excitement and knew it was right to be there at that time, marrying Wendel Schultz. I knew there was no one I would rather solve a problem with and I knew he would be by my side no matter what.

Hawaii - take one

In 2011, we went to Hawaii.  I never blogged about it (shocking, I know) - but now we are going back to Hawaii (in two days).  I can't go back to Hawaii without first blogging about our first Hawaii trip.

.....
 We stayed at The Edition (now called The Modern Honolulu). It was so nice.

 We like to spend a lot of our vacation in our room (we really value sleep and alone time), so having an awesome hotel room was pretty important to us. Our room was beautiful and so relaxing.

We spent a lot of time hanging out by the pools at our hotel, sipping cilantro lemonades.

Yes, we take our laptops / Ipad on vacation. It's how we roll.

We spent one day at the Polynesian Cultural Center. We decided it wasn't as cool as we thought it would be but we still had a good time.

At the Polynesian Cultural Center

Sporting our fake tattoos.

We then went next door to the Laie Temple, which is beautiful.

 Other than that, we spent the rest of our time walking around Waikiki, on the beach, and eating out. It was pretty perfect (other than Wendel's laptop getting stolen - that was such a bummer). A vacation isn't complete without yummy food (we loved the dark chocolate covered macadamia nuts.)

One of our favorite parts of our trip was seeing sea turtles while snorkeling. So cool! This photo was taken with the camera on our snorkeling mask.

There is so much more of our first Hawaii trip not documented here but for now at least this is something.  Makes me smile.

2010 recap

This past year was one of the most difficult years of my life but also one of the most amazing years of my life. Here's a quick recap of 2010 in the form of a questionnaire I found online:

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? Gave birth to a child.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I honestly can't remember what my New Year's resolutions were other than to go to graduate school, which I did. Yes, I am in the process of making resolutions for this year. I haven't solidified them yet but I'm working on a short, meaningful list that won't be too overwhelming. 
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Other than me, I had several friends give birth this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Wendel's grandmother died in June. We went to Arizona for her funeral. Though it was sad to see her go, the funeral was a beautiful tribute to her life.
5. What countries did you visit? None
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? A MSW degree
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 2nd, the day Oliver was born. Being a mother is incredible. 
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making it through the quarter right after Oliver was born - passing my Biology class and getting an A in my Research class - both of which were incredibly difficult, especially while adjusting to motherhood, dealing with nursing issues, hives, shingles, post-postpartum depression, and lack of sleep. Having made it through that, I feel like I can make it through almost anything.
9. What was your biggest failure? No big regrets
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing serious
11. What was the best thing you bought? It is a toss up between our baby monitor, our glider, and our minivan (which we have yet to pick up but we did purchase it in 2010).
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Oliver's, of course. We love celebrating each of his milestones.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Political leaders - elections depress me with all of the lying candidates do about each other.
14. Where did most of your money go? Graduate school
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The birth of our son

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? Little Sack of Sugar by Elizabeth Mitchell
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. Oliver has brought so much happiness to us.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter but it's worth it.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, both with money and with blessings.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? My family history (scrapbooking, journaling, blogging, etc.). Prioritizing family and school leaves little time for much else. I'm okay with it but I'm pretty excited to get back to it when I'm done with school.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Nothing. No regrets.
20. How did you spend Christmas? With my family in a condo in Deer Valley, Utah. It was perfect.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010? Yes, with my sweet son. 
22. What was your favorite TV program? Parenthood
23. What was the best book you read? The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins (I actually haven't read the third book yet...no time but I can't wait to read it).
24. What was your greatest musical discovery? Mumford & Sons is pretty cool and I really like Dustin Kensrue's Christmas album.
25. What did you want and get? A baby
26. What did you want and not get? To be done with school
27. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn't see any amazing movies. Sad, but true. I didn't see many movies at all, so that's not saying much.
28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 31. Wendel got me a treadmill (two actually - one for each of us so we can work out at the same time). My mom was in town so I got to go out for Thai food with my mom, brother, Wendel, and Oliver.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Not having to take Biology.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Hmm. Lacking.
31. What kept you sane? Wendel.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? None of them really.
33. What political issue stirred you the most? Health Care was a big one. 
34. Who did you miss? My family.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010: To sacrifice is to make something sacred
36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "'Cause when push comes to shove you find what you're made of, you might bend till you break 'cause it's all you can take, on your knees you look up, decide you've had enough, you get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, then you stand, yeah, you stand" - Rascal Flats [It was a rough year but we made it through and we're stronger for it. My schooling experiences have really brought us together and I'm so grateful for that. They have given us numerous opportunities to serve each other, have in-depth discussions, unite in prayer and fasting, and appreciate the sacredness of the struggles and accomplishments.] 

I'm looking forward to 2011. There are so many great things to look forward to. I will be done with classes in June! Oliver turns one in March. I will only have a part-time internship after June - no job and no classes. Amazing! It's going to be a great year.

[Photos taken by Kali Lu Photography] 

newport, oregon

We took a much needed 5-day vacation to Newport last week. It was perfect in every way. We stayed in a condo by the beach. It was beautiful and had a gorgeous view. The first two photos are the view from our balcony at sunrise. This is a photo of our living room.



Britney (Wendel's sister), Ron & Connor came up the first day we were there (they live in Portland). It was fun hanging out with them for a day and wish they could have stayed longer.

We saw some sea lions. Oliver was interested, which was cute.








From what I understand, these cages are for feeding the sea lions but they like to hang out in them, even when it's not feeding time. I thought it was so funny to see one squirm his way up from the bottom of the pile, and all of the others got mad at him for disturbing them.





We took Oliver to the Undersea Gardens, where he got to touch a starfish. He is really into textures lately, so I think that was kind of cool for him.



On the dock with Dad after visiting the Undersea Gardens.





We also went to the Oregon Coast Aquarium.

Checking out a huge turtle.



Oliver seemed most interested in the jellyfish. They were pretty cool.









You can't tell too well, but there are sea lions in the water behind us.




Aquarium Village (where I found the book Where The Wild Things Are for $1.00!).













We also took turns sleeping in (Wendel made a big breakfast one morning for me while I slept in - amazing!), Wendel went golfing, I went shopping, we ate yummy seafood, went swimming and hung out in the hot tub, Wendel worked on a puzzle, and I read The Hunger Games. (It was so good! I'm on the second book right now and I'm loving it. Wendel started reading it on our way home from Newport and finished it in less than 24 hours.) We also had fun reading with Oliver.



It was so sad to leave. We both concluded that before having a child, 4-5 days of vacation was plenty - more than that and we would start to go stir-cray. But with a baby, there wasn't as much downtime, so a week is our new minimum vacation time.
It's good we had this break though. I start school in a week and I think it's going to be a difficult quarter. I loved our little break.