My "Mom Mission Statement"

My friend Emily Poland posted on Facebook recently, asking her mom friends to share: "What's important to you? What legacy do you want to leave your children? And what pitfalls are you working to avoid?" She's putting together a Mom Mission Statement and wanted some inspiration. I really love this idea so I'm sharing mine here. 

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My Mom Mission Statement

I want to teach my children to "never be weary of good works" (Alma 37:34), to recognize how the Spirit speaks to them and to have faith and courage to act on those promptings, that they can do hard things, that just because something is hard, doesn't mean it isn't right, to be kind to others, to be accepting of differences, to serve and love others, that the key to feeling happy is serving others, to cherish the scriptures, to get along with and love each other as siblings (this is a huge focus right now), to appreciate diversity, to eat healthy and take care of their bodies, to value education, to find what they are passionate about and pursue it, to make a life plan and make goals to accomplish it, I want them to know that sacrifices often make experiences sacred (take parenthood for example), to love books and learning, I want to teach them responsibility (contributing to family responsibilities is a big focus as well), to be respectful, to say sorry and ask for forgiveness when they're in the wrong (I get lots of opportunities to lead by example with this one), to "be patient in thy afflictions" (D&C 24:8), to have open communication, confidence but also humble hearts, to know of their worth as children of God and as my children, to make wise financial decisions, to appreciate their ancestors and what they can learn from them, to know of my constant love for them, to cultivate a good life and record it, to remember that "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" (Alma 37:6), and to have a good relationship with their Heavenly Father ("Cry unto God for all thy support...let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord, let the affections of they heart be placed on the Lord forever...counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good." Alma 37: 36-37). I strive to engage their minds, to encourage play, and to say "I love you" as often as I can. I strive to offer choices to teach them decision-making skills, keep my emotions under control, remember that they are kids and they are an amazing blessing and they only have one childhood.

These are the days

It's midnight. Way past my bedtime. Mornings start early around here, usually between 5:30-6:30. This morning I could hear Josh calling my name from his crib: "Mama, mama." I looked at my phone. 4:15am. I stumbled into his room, squinting in the light from his lamp. He had thrown his blankets and binki onto the floor, as he does when he's done sleeping and ready to go. I told him to lay back down; that it was still night time and time to sleep. "Ol-ver?" he asked. "Oliver is sleeping," I told him. "Daddy?" he asked. "Daddy is sleeping." That seemed to convince him and he laid back down, took his binki and favorite monkey blankie and allowed me to cover him with a blanket. Exactly one hour later, at 5:15am, I heard the same thing: "Mama, mama." We went through the exact same process and he went back to sleep. At 6:00am, he was at it again, but this time he was adamant about getting up for the day. With a heavy sigh, I took him into our room and put him on our bed with some of his books. I laid back down and closed my eyes. He shoved the book in my face, pointing at animals, wanting me to read to him. I sleepily said, "Duck. The duck says quack." He went over and put the book in Wendel's face. "Daddy, Daddy." Wendel mumbled a good morning to Josh and fell back asleep. Soon after, Oliver came into the room. Minutes later, both boys were downstairs in the kitchen and our day had officially begun.

And so it does every day. Not always as early as 4:15 but 6:00 is a guarantee. If one of them happens to sleep a little longer, the other will definitely get up by 6:00.

Tonight my friend, Autumn, asked if I wanted to go to the gym. We have been going to the gym together, on and off, for a couple of years. Sometimes we do so great and go almost every night but then we go through spells where we don't go for months. Tonight was the first time after such a spell. Being 5 months pregnant, plus getting up early and not getting to rest during the day (Oliver no longer naps), doesn't exactly instill a desire to spend my evenings at the gym when I could be relaxing with my husband, watching tv, or going to bed early. (Oh, sleep, how I miss you.)

And yet, I sit here in bed, past midnight, blogging. I think I've blogged three times in the past year but tonight I'm making it a priority. I just need to write this down.

Being a mother to young children is difficult. I've expressed that here before. It's, hands down, the most difficult thing I've ever done. But also the most amazing thing I've ever done. And absolutely the most exhausting thing I've ever done. Tonight as I was doing leg reps at the gym, the song, "These are the Days" by 10,000 Maniacs came on and I sat there, on that machine, with tears running down my face. I thought about my sweet boys, and how these are the days I'll remember. It's difficult to picture it now but someday they will be grown and on their own. They will have their own families and lives and be busy with their responsibilities. They might live far away from us and from each other. The days are numbered when sweet Joshua will lay his head on my shoulder and tuck his hands between his heart and mine, where his sweet little voice will call my name, where dancing with him in my arms will light up his face with a huge smile. And sweet Oliver, as strong willed as he can be, telling me, "I still love you, even when we have rough days" and "You're the best mommy in the world to me." The days where he begs for three books at bedtime, even if it's late. The days where he and Josh are at my feet constantly, wanting to be where I am, wanting to help me cook, bake, clean (hitting the walls with the handle of the broom as they attempt to sweep), following me upstairs, wanting to be nearby.

These are the formative years. Am I doing enough? I try really hard to be a good mom, to engage them and love them, teach and guide them, encourage and nurture them. Although it doesn't seem like it now, all too soon they will be gone. I will have a clean, quite house. But I will miss their laughter, the cute things they say, their little affections. The days are so difficult and exhausting...am I appreciating them enough? It can be difficult to appreciate the little moments when I'm so caught up in the day to day grind. So I guess this post is a reminder to myself to do just that. To sit back, enjoy and appreciate. To show love to my boys and enjoy my time with them as much as I possibly can.

"These Are Days" by 10,000 Maniacs 

These are the days.

These are days you'll remember. 
Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this. 
And as you feel it, you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky. 
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. 

These are days you'll remember. 
When May is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in 
Every hour. 
You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky. 
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. 

These are days. 

These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break. 
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face. 
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be. 
See the signs and know their meaning. 
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be. 
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.

Photos taken last Saturday night before our Ward Trunk or Treat. Joshua - 23 mo, Oliver - 4 1/2

Parenting is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

Parenting is the most difficult thing I've ever done. It's more difficult than serving a full-time mission, more difficult than going through a painful relationship (being engaged three separate times), more difficult than going through grad school with a newborn baby who was collicy while having nursing issues...I think because those things were short-term. They were difficult while I was in them but then they ended and I took what I learned from them. And I guess I'll look back on motherhood someday and think it went by way too quickly and I'll have lots of nuggets of wisdom and I'll be incredibly grateful for the journey. I am grateful for it now, but it's just so exhausting. I try very hard to be the a really good mom to my boys; I take them to the park, play with them, chase them and tickle them, read to them, do art projects with them, take them fun places, go to the library with them, dance in the kitchen with them, kick the ball with them, laugh with them...I love having fun with them but I also feel exhausted a lot of the time. Sometimes I think if I had kids in my 20s I would have more energy. But I don't have any regrets. I'm glad I had five years of marriage with Wendel before our amazing boys came along and I'm grateful for my degrees I worked so hard to obtain during those five years. I'm incredibly thankful for Oliver and Joshua. They bring me so much joy. But as I said, parenting is the most difficult thing I've ever done. You don't understand until you get there and then you appreciate everything your parents did for you. It's kind of humbling. I just wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't feel exhausted. Maybe someday when our kids are grown but then I know I'll miss them terribly. Wendel said he already misses Oliver...he misses him at ages two and three. Parenting is emotional, too. It's so many things. But above all, I really do feel blessed. I know that I am. But I also feel exhausted and drained and it's difficult to keep up. Someday when I'm a grandma and might not remember just how exhausting being a mom was (like I could forget), I might pull up this post and remind myself. But until then, I will try to cherish the years I have with my sweet boys and do my best to keep up. :)

mommy wins

I was feeling overwhelmed this evening. It had been a busy day. The kids were both melting down, Joshua was especially fussy (he's teething) and clingy, the dishes were stacked up, toys were all over the kitchen floor (which I kept stepping on), I hadn't made dinner, the entire house was messy and cluttered and I felt exhausted. (As a side note, I always feel exhausted taking care of two energetic boys). I felt frustrated that I do the same things over and over again, just to do them again. I clean up; Oliver takes the cushions off of the couch so he can jump off of the couch onto them (he is only allowed to do this with our old couch in our not-as-nice living room), he brings a pile of blankets and pillows (big and small) into the living room or in other places throughout the house, which he calls his "nest." I cleaned out the junk drawer; the next day it was a disaster again. I decorated our credenza with Fall decorations; an hour later Oliver took off with the little pumpkins and was playing with them. I sweep and mop; Oliver accidentally drops food and cuts paper onto the floor. I do the dishes; they keep coming. I do laundry and forget to transfer it to the dryer so I wash it again...Sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I've been walking around Disneyland all day with how sore my feet are from standing and then realize I have hardly sat down the entire day. Sometimes (like today), the boys don't nap at the same time and all I want to do is close my eyes for 15 minutes but just as I get both kids to sleep, the one who was asleep first wakes up. I rarely get through my to-do list. Sometimes I get frustrated that I can't focus much time or energy on cleaning (specifically our bedroom, which is the most neglected room in the house and far from the sanctuary I wish it was) because the demands of children are far too great. Sometimes I feel I am in the middle of the forest and it's difficult to see the beauty because I'm too wrapped up with what is right in front of me.

One thing I miss about working outside of my home is the positive affirmation I got from my supervisor and co-workers. Maybe it was due to the nature of the job (working for CPS is a really tough job) or because I'm in the social work field or because my supervisor was just amazing...but he gave us a lot of positive affirmation, support and encouragement. It's nice to hear you're doing okay to give you that push to keep going. It's nice to feel appreciated. Maybe I shouldn't need that but I guess I do.

So tonight I started thinking about my "mommy wins" today: those positive things I did for my kids that I sometimes don't recognize.

• I took my kids to the park this morning. Oliver was able to run around and get some energy out and play with his friend. I held Joshua on my lap and we went down the slide several times together. 
• I took the boys to the Fun Van program at the library (an educational/social program for kids, which also includes a parent education/support group for the parents). We went on a nature walk with the kids, sang together, and played together. 
• I checked out books for Oliver and read to him before his nap. 
• I sat with Oliver on his blanket on the kitchen floor and we ate yogurt popsicles together. 
• I played with Joshua while Oliver slept, tickling him and making him laugh. I encouraged him to balance while standing on his own. I held him while he drank his bottle. 
• I told Oliver and Joshua I love them throughout the day and flashed the "I love you" sign to Oliver. 
• I raced with Oliver to encourage him to go potty and get into the car so we could leave on time. I play games with him to motivate him, which he likes (and which exhausts me). 
• I gave Oliver positive feedback for going potty, drawing pictures, sharing with Joshua, etc. I had him put stickers on the calendar (once he gets a week's worth he gets a prize) so he could see how well he's doing. 
• I didn't yell at Oliver. I felt frustrated at times but kept my cool (not always the case). 
• I kissed both boys numerous times throughout the day. 
• I fed Oliver a healthy dinner of chicken, broccoli, pasta and apples. And he ate all of it. (I try really hard to feed my kids healthy food.)
• I prayed with Oliver before lunch and dinner. We thanked Heavenly Father for all He blesses us with and especially our eternal family and a daddy who works so hard to support us. 
• I only allowed Oliver to watch two hours of tv. I encouraged him to play and use his imagination, color, and put stickers on his pumpkin. This is more difficult for me than sticking him in front of the tv but I'm determined not to do it.
• I held Joshua in my arms tonight after I read to him and rocked him in his glider as I prayed out loud. I thanked Heavenly Father for sending him to our family. I prayed for our boys' safety and health. I told Joshua how much I love him as I put him in his crib, nestled in his sleep sack. 
• I made sure Oliver brushed his teeth this morning and evening. 

• I read from the scriptures this evening. I know that staying close to the Holy Ghost is imperative as I'm raising my children and this is how I can invite Him to reside with me. I feel inspired as I read from the scriptures. I can't say I do it every day as I should but I try to do it and appreciate when I do. Tonight I read in Doctrine & Covenants 121: 26, "God shall give you knowledge by His Hold Spirit, yea, by the unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost..." which is a reminder that I need that knowledge in this important job of raising children. (As I side note, last night I went visiting teaching and the lesson was on the divine mission of Jesus Christ as the creator. Part of the lesson talked about our divine mission as women. There was a quote by Joseph Smith: “You are now placed in a situation where you can act according to those sympathies which God has planted in your bosoms,” said the Prophet Joseph Smith. “If you live up to these principles how great and glorious!—if you live up to your privilege, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates." I love that! I need angles as my associates. Being a mother is not easy. Parenting with intent, striving to raise responsible children who turn into responsible adults in a loving but firm manner, children who love God and have testimonies of the restored gospel, responding with love and patience when I want to pull my hair out, knowing what is best for my children and how to help them...yes, I will gladly take angels as my associates in this role. I also read this tonight in Doctrine & Covenants 123:17, "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren (and sisters), let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." Sometimes I need that reminder to be cheerful in all things...especially when I am constantly exhausted and the demands are many.)
• As a side note, the woman we visit taught bore her testimony about what a priviledge it is to stay at home with your children. She has stayed home in the past but now has to work full time outside of her home. As she talked, her eyes filled up with tears and I couldn't help but think about what a difficult transition it was for me to leave my job and stay home but how grateful I am for that opportunity now. It really is a priviledge and I'm so thankful I can be with my boys every day. 

I guess I did okay today. If I sift through the mundane tasks, I can see that I supported my children and helped them feel safe (and kept them safe) and happy. I encouraged Oliver's creativity and imagination, allowed him to get exercise and get energy out, strengthened our relationship as mother and son with both boys, and prayed for / sought inspiration on their behalf. 

Parenting is difficult (to say the least). It's nice to sit back and take note of the "wins" once in a while. 

Photos taken in August 2013 (Oliver: 3.5 years, Joshua: 8 months)

The decision to stay home

Stopping by to dust off the old blog.  I still think blogging is great and I still want to blog but I've been surprised at how busy I've been staying home with two kids.  It has been quite the adjustment. 

Deciding to stay home with my children was not an easy decision for me.  I know it is an easy decision for many women but I really struggled with it.  This is not due to not loving my children or not wanting to spend time with them.  I was in graduate school when Oliver was born and then I worked for CPS to pay off my MSW up until April of this year.  It became comfortable to me.  While I was apprehensive to work for CPS, I learned several things about myself and was reminded that I can do hard things.  I liked interviewing children and having them trust and open up to me.  I liked being the voice for those who could not defend themselves.  I appreciated my supportive supervisor and co-workers and enjoyed working in an environment with people who were there because they care about the safety and well-being of children.  I found joy in something I never thought I would do or want to do.  And yet here I am, looking back on an extremely difficult job, appreciating the opportunity I had to make a difference.  After I told my supervisor I was going to turn in my notice, I cried.  I was that attached to my job.  Sure there were plenty of difficult things about my job - I'm not trying to candy-coat the high case loads, getting yelled at on a regular basis, spending hours in court to simply stand before the judge for 30 seconds, conducting interviews on a 120 degree summer afternoon in Arizona on someone's front porch, seeing and hearing heartbreaking situations over and over again to the point where I became objective to the words in the reports...the days were never long enough to accomplish what was required of me and paperwork was always stacked high on my desk and shelves.  My message light was constantly blinking, demanding my attention, and I often cringed when my phone rang, dreading who might be on the other end of the receiver and what they might be upset about.  But the good and the bad - it became a part of me.  It strengthened my character and gave me hope that even though most people don't, people can change.  It gave me confidence that I can do anything if I am determined, feel right about it and have support.  It made me appreciate my blessed life; my beautiful children, my wonderful husband, who - though isn't perfect - is perfect for me and treats me with respect.  This is why it was difficult to close that chapter of my life, if only temporarily.

Staying home has been an adjustment not only for me but for Oliver as well.  We have both learned a few things and things are going much more smoothly than they were initially.  The other day I had to stand back and soak up the joy I felt as I heard Oliver repeating the words from the book, The Little Engine that Could, as he pushed his little trains along their wooden track on the living room floor.  I find myself smiling from ear to ear as Oliver and I dance around the living room to music or kick the ball back and forth as Joshua is jumping and smiling in his jumper nearby.  I love watching Josh wobble as he's learning how to sit on his own and rock back and forth on his hands and knees as he's building up the courage to begin crawling.  I love that Oliver seeks my comfort when he falls down or doesn't feel well.  I love that I am there to comfort him and give him hugs and kisses and put bandaids on his scrapped knees.  I love seeing the pure joy on Oliver's face as I chase him and tickle him and he laughs uncontrollably.  I know someday he won't eagerly say, "Mommy, you want to chase me?"  Instead he will want to be in his bedroom with the door closed, listening to music or doing his own thing.  He won't always come to me or his dad when he's seeking comfort.  Today, he wants to be just like his dad and copies him constantly.  If daddy walks out to the truck with his hat on backwards and pushes the buttons to unlock the code to the truck door, Oliver is following suit, turning his hat around backwards and pushing the buttons as well before climbing into his carseat.  This is such an impressionable time where I have an opportunity to influence my children for good.  It is a time to put my past endeavors aside and focus on the things of eternity - the things that really matter most right now, which things are putting my efforts into raising our children and strengthening my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ daily.

I've realized only recently how imperative raising children is to our learning experience here on earth.  I believe there are things I am learning as I'm raising my children that would be difficult to learn otherwise.  (Also, as a side note, I believe those who don't have the opportunity to raise children on earth will have the opportunity to do so at a later time.)  This is such a time of learning for me.  I look back on this post and I can't help but smile at the first-time-mother version of myself who had no idea how difficult raising children could be, no idea how I would pour over parenting books and kneel in prayer as tears run down my face, asking for patience and guidance in parenting my son.  And now here I am, right in the middle of it.  The daily grind, the mundane, the joyful, the trying moments (hours, days...), the self-talk to get myself through the day, the adorable quotes that make me laugh, the love that fills my heart to the brim for both of my children, the continuos daily chores (dishes, laundry, sweeping, feeding...), Joshua's adorable "square smile" and sweet disposition, reading the same stories over and over again, the way my heart melts when Oliver randomly says, "Mommy, I love you," the moments I get to witness that I would otherwise miss. 

I'm grateful for all of it.  I am blessed.

[Photos taken in May 2013]

around here lately...

This little guy is blessing our family with his sweet spirit. He is amazingly sweet and I sometimes cry when I look into his eyes because I can feel the Spirit so strongly. We are also incredibly tired and trying our best to transition to two kids. The most difficult part is Oliver's transition, which isn't going so smoothly. The "newborn stage" is so difficult for me. I know at some point it will get easier...looking forward to that. But for now, I will try to enjoy the sweet moments. We are so blessed.

I love how Oliver has integrated Joshua into his train-playing. 

checking in

30.5 weeks (I will be 8 months along this Thursday)

I love this one Wendel captured of me and my cute boy. He's getting so big!

A few things:

01. At 30.5 weeks, I am definitely feeling uncomfortable.  I feel like the baby will be early but maybe that is just wishful thinking / because Oliver was early. 

02. Over at The Weed, Josh asked everyone to check in with how they're doing in these areas and then to make a commitment for this week:

Physically: I have two months left to go of this pregnancy. I feel very uncomfortable, heavy, exhausted, and huge. My back is sore most of the time and I get charly horses in my legs. But I am also excited to be pregnant and looking forward to meeting our little guy.

Emotionally: Drained. My job is draining. It sucks pretty much everything out of me. Also, Oliver is going through a difficult phase and is being very defiant, is having trouble sleeping, and is grumpy a lot. So that takes an emotional toll too.

Spiritually: Could be much better but could be much worse too. I feel the need to focus more on this area. A lot more.

Commitment for this week: Read from the scriptures on my lunch break (first force myself to take a lunch break, which I usually don't) three times this week. Make this a priority.

03. I go on maternity leave on December 11th.  I'm not sure I will make it that long, both emotionally and physically.  I don't know that the baby will come by then but I am already so physically exhausted and uncomfortable, I am not sure I can keep up with the demands of this job. 

04.  I am glad I am starting FMLA on December 11th.  I need the two weeks before the baby's due date to prepare: ie, finish the nursery, wash the clothes and put them away, clean the house thoroughly, spend some 1:1 time with Oliver, as well as prepare mentally and emotionally for having another baby, going through labor, having two kids, etc.  I am a little nervous.

05. Last night we went to Stagecoach Days (like a little carnival here in town) with some friends.  It was fun and made me appreciate living in a small community.  I also love that as we are nearing the end of October, it is still t-shirt and shorts weather.  There was a warm breeze last night that was just perfect - not too hot, not cold at all.  I regret eating fried food though.  My body is not loving that choice.

Life is good but incredibly busy (hence my lack of posting here).  Just making it one day at a time right now with everything on my plate. Got to get to sleep so I'm signing off now.  

little friend

23  months old

This little guy has been sick the past couple of days. He's had a high fever of 105. That is kind of scary. I hope my little friend gets back to full health soon.

I love being his mom. He makes me so happy.

vote for oliver's nursery!

Remember Oliver's nursery? Jan from Unique Baby Gear contacted me last year and asked if she could feature Oliver's nursery on her blog in a contest. I told her sure and then forgot about it. She just emailed me a few days ago and told me it's voting time. So, if you feel so inclined to help me win a $500 Amazon gift card, click here and leave a comment to vote for Oliver's (old) nursery.  Or you could just browse through the many nurseries posted and get some inspiration.

*Disclaimer: I did not write the information in the post about his nursery. Jan wrote it as though it is in my voice but she is the one who wrote it. I just had to mention that before sending you over to read the post. :)

lately

Lately, life has been a whirlwind of craziness.
Lately, I am exhausted a lot. I go to bed by 11:00 (not the norm for me, though it should be).
Lately, I work full time. I see a lot of sadness at my practicum. It makes me grateful for my life and the people in it. 
Lately, I am reminded of my love for Metropolitan Market. It makes my heart happy that there is one kind of close to my practicum site. It is my favorite. Their salads make my heart race.
Lately, I wonder what the future holds.
Lately, I have seen the goodness of several people. Friends who have helped us out so much, for whom we are so grateful. I am humbled by the Christ-like acts of service rendered to our family.
Lately, I haven't felt the desire or had the time to blog.
Lately, I am a little emotional but also at peace.
Lately, I am grateful to be done with the school work portion of my MSW. I took Oliver to the library the other night and as we walked to our van, we passed by the study room. I looked in and saw people sitting at tables with open books and notebooks in front of them and I literally shuddered. I am so done with that phase of life.
Lately, I feel like we will look back on these days and wonder how we did it. We will know that we could not have made it through school, work, my practicum, and everything else life throws at us without our Heavenly Father's guidance and the friends and family who have helped us with Oliver. (Thank you!)
Lately, our sweet boy does amazing things that make us smile and tell each other how amazing he is. 

Oliver June 2011 (15 months old)

Lately, my heart is full of gratitude and I knew I had to record it so I can remember how blessed I am.

a new perspective

In honor of Easter, I wanted to share this video. I've shared it here before but it was a while ago. This song is meaningful to me because I listened to it on my mission and it brings back so many memories from that time. It is so inspirational and always brings tears to my eyes when I hear it.



I've been thinking this weekend about what is really important in life; specifically, how we treat others and how our Savior would treat others if he were here with us. I think it is so easy to get caught up in our lives and not think about other people who are living close to us but may be living in drastically different circumstances. So many people are going through difficult times right now. It is so easy to judge others or to make assumptions when we don't have all of the facts. I am reminded of a quote I read once by Ian Percy that states, "We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions." I guess I've sort of had this reminder this weekend about needing to reach outside of myself more, put myself in others' shoes, not to be quick to judge, and to remember to keep my priorities in order. It can be so easy for them to get out of order, even due to good things.

I am grateful for Easter, as it is symbolic of starting new. It not only brings hope for warm weather and new life, but it also brings an assurance that we will be resurrected because of our Savior. It brings hope that death is not the end. That is such an amazing thing to know! I know that my Savior lives and I am forever grateful for Him.

I will leave you with a current picture of my little cutie in his Easter outfit that his grandma sent him.

today

Praying for: Friends who are going through a difficult time

Wearing: Jeans and a black shirt with 3/4 sleeves and a fun necklace 

Working on: Getting to bed by 11:00 (so difficult and so far, unsuccessful considering that I don't usually start working out until at least that time)

Eating: Lots of veggie wraps lately, consisting of a high fiber whole wheat wrap, hummus, avocado, spinach, arugula, grape tomatoes, red bell pepper, a little bit of Tillamook medium cheddar cheese, some green onion, a little bit of whole grain mustard and some salt and pepper. I have this for lunch and dinner on a lot of days.

Dreaming of: three things: 1. My graduation 2. Going to Hawaii this Summer 3. Our much-needed bedroom makeover

Realizing: I have been somewhat prideful lately and I really want to change. I plan to write more about this in my next post, which will be about school...no guarantees as to how soon I will post it, but it's on my mind.

Impatiently waiting: For a new episode of Parenthood. It was a re-run this week. Bummer.

Anticipating: Losing 1/2 a pound more so I can hit my goal weight and go into maintenance (with Weight Watchers)

Loving: Oliver's cute little chatter.

Stalking: My school email account to see if I am the recipient of a scholarship I applied for

Feeling: Happy that the quarter is over but also grateful for the opportunity to be in school, and sad to say goodbye to a friend tonight (whom I will likely not see again, at least not for a while)

the difference a year makes

A year ago I was feeling very sore and tired. I was uncomfortable all of the time. I was about three weeks away from delivering Oliver, and I was feeling it. My feet were swollen, my stomach itched, and my back hurt all the time. I felt like I couldn't possibly get any bigger (but somehow I did). I couldn't sleep well and waddled when I walked.

It's amazing how much can change in a year. Our sweet little guy has changed our lives so much. I really love being a Mom and think it's the greatest thing ever.

In reviewing our photos from January, I realized that I hadn't taken very many of Oliver (actually, not very many photos at all of anyone or anything), so I pulled out the camera last week and took quite a few. I thought I would share some here.

 

 

On the one sunny day we had last week, I took Oliver on a walk. He loved it.

He is actually happy, not crying in this picture.

 

 

Playing with Tupperware is an all-time favorite.

Playing with pots & pans is another favorite.

Playing with Dad is fun. Oliver squeals when Wendel gets home. 

 

Getting ready to take a bath. Oliver loves baths.

I love this little kick he's doing in excitement for his bath.

He seems to think that opening and closing doors is pretty cool. (Yes, that is food on his face.)

I cannot believe that Oliver will be a year old in less than a month. It is amazing to me how much he has grown and changed over the past year. We sure love this kid.

*loving*

Oliver on Thanksgiving Day 2010

*Loving how my cute little guy is learning and growing so much. He is wanting to be independent lately. It's pretty cute to watch him trying to do things on his own. He is amazing.
*Loving the fact that I finally completed the majority of my Senior Capstone Project (akin to a thesis in my field). It was 50 pages and so much work. It doesn't help that I'm a perfectionist, and overachiever, and a people-pleaser. These are things I've learned about myself these past few years being in school. They are both blessings and curses but in the end, they are good qualities to have as a student. I'm actually really, really excited about my project. I'm expanding Independent Living services for foster youth who are about to age out of the system to the area where I live (currently there aren't services available for them here). That includes finding a location to hold the workshops, putting together workshop curriculum, and doing lots of outreach to inform foster youth, foster parents, and service providers about these workshops. I'm also contributing to a website that is a great resource for emancipating foster youth. The 50 pages I just turned in last Thursday was all of the research that backs up this project that I'm implementing. I've been working on it since September. I'm very passionate about it and excited to help foster youth in my area.
*Loving that, thanks to a fitness challenge and Weight Watchers, I feel so much healthier lately. I have lost some weight, which is great, but I also just feel really healthy. (Part of the fitness challenge is that I can only eat out once a week and I have to drink 64 ounces of water a day...these are not easy goals for me - the eating out is hard because I'm always on the go, and the water is difficult because I am a sipper and just can't finish that much water in a day comfortably (but I'm doing it).
*Loving our new mini van. We got a used Toyota Sienna. It is so nice having extra space.
*Loving this blog. I admire this girl's faith and have really enjoyed reading about her conversion. Start here.

One thing I'm not loving is how I stay up really late on Sunday nights because I don't want the weekend to end, and then I am super tired on Mondays. It is not a good pattern but it happens over and over again. And on that note, I'm going to bed.

2010 recap

This past year was one of the most difficult years of my life but also one of the most amazing years of my life. Here's a quick recap of 2010 in the form of a questionnaire I found online:

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? Gave birth to a child.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I honestly can't remember what my New Year's resolutions were other than to go to graduate school, which I did. Yes, I am in the process of making resolutions for this year. I haven't solidified them yet but I'm working on a short, meaningful list that won't be too overwhelming. 
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Other than me, I had several friends give birth this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Wendel's grandmother died in June. We went to Arizona for her funeral. Though it was sad to see her go, the funeral was a beautiful tribute to her life.
5. What countries did you visit? None
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? A MSW degree
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 2nd, the day Oliver was born. Being a mother is incredible. 
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making it through the quarter right after Oliver was born - passing my Biology class and getting an A in my Research class - both of which were incredibly difficult, especially while adjusting to motherhood, dealing with nursing issues, hives, shingles, post-postpartum depression, and lack of sleep. Having made it through that, I feel like I can make it through almost anything.
9. What was your biggest failure? No big regrets
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing serious
11. What was the best thing you bought? It is a toss up between our baby monitor, our glider, and our minivan (which we have yet to pick up but we did purchase it in 2010).
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Oliver's, of course. We love celebrating each of his milestones.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Political leaders - elections depress me with all of the lying candidates do about each other.
14. Where did most of your money go? Graduate school
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The birth of our son

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? Little Sack of Sugar by Elizabeth Mitchell
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. Oliver has brought so much happiness to us.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter but it's worth it.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, both with money and with blessings.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? My family history (scrapbooking, journaling, blogging, etc.). Prioritizing family and school leaves little time for much else. I'm okay with it but I'm pretty excited to get back to it when I'm done with school.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Nothing. No regrets.
20. How did you spend Christmas? With my family in a condo in Deer Valley, Utah. It was perfect.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010? Yes, with my sweet son. 
22. What was your favorite TV program? Parenthood
23. What was the best book you read? The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins (I actually haven't read the third book yet...no time but I can't wait to read it).
24. What was your greatest musical discovery? Mumford & Sons is pretty cool and I really like Dustin Kensrue's Christmas album.
25. What did you want and get? A baby
26. What did you want and not get? To be done with school
27. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn't see any amazing movies. Sad, but true. I didn't see many movies at all, so that's not saying much.
28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 31. Wendel got me a treadmill (two actually - one for each of us so we can work out at the same time). My mom was in town so I got to go out for Thai food with my mom, brother, Wendel, and Oliver.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Not having to take Biology.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Hmm. Lacking.
31. What kept you sane? Wendel.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? None of them really.
33. What political issue stirred you the most? Health Care was a big one. 
34. Who did you miss? My family.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010: To sacrifice is to make something sacred
36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "'Cause when push comes to shove you find what you're made of, you might bend till you break 'cause it's all you can take, on your knees you look up, decide you've had enough, you get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, then you stand, yeah, you stand" - Rascal Flats [It was a rough year but we made it through and we're stronger for it. My schooling experiences have really brought us together and I'm so grateful for that. They have given us numerous opportunities to serve each other, have in-depth discussions, unite in prayer and fasting, and appreciate the sacredness of the struggles and accomplishments.] 

I'm looking forward to 2011. There are so many great things to look forward to. I will be done with classes in June! Oliver turns one in March. I will only have a part-time internship after June - no job and no classes. Amazing! It's going to be a great year.

[Photos taken by Kali Lu Photography] 

the schultz pride

Our little lion looked so cute. I love how Squeak is looking at him in this picture. Squeak has totally accepted him in as part of his pride. It's so cute - when Oliver cries, Squeak runs over to see what's wrong. He even put his paws up on the bathtub ledge and looked over the edge once when Oliver was crying in the bath. Oliver squeals with joy whenever he sees Squeak. I love that they're friends. So cute.