My "Mom Mission Statement"

My friend Emily Poland posted on Facebook recently, asking her mom friends to share: "What's important to you? What legacy do you want to leave your children? And what pitfalls are you working to avoid?" She's putting together a Mom Mission Statement and wanted some inspiration. I really love this idea so I'm sharing mine here. 

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My Mom Mission Statement

I want to teach my children to "never be weary of good works" (Alma 37:34), to recognize how the Spirit speaks to them and to have faith and courage to act on those promptings, that they can do hard things, that just because something is hard, doesn't mean it isn't right, to be kind to others, to be accepting of differences, to serve and love others, that the key to feeling happy is serving others, to cherish the scriptures, to get along with and love each other as siblings (this is a huge focus right now), to appreciate diversity, to eat healthy and take care of their bodies, to value education, to find what they are passionate about and pursue it, to make a life plan and make goals to accomplish it, I want them to know that sacrifices often make experiences sacred (take parenthood for example), to love books and learning, I want to teach them responsibility (contributing to family responsibilities is a big focus as well), to be respectful, to say sorry and ask for forgiveness when they're in the wrong (I get lots of opportunities to lead by example with this one), to "be patient in thy afflictions" (D&C 24:8), to have open communication, confidence but also humble hearts, to know of their worth as children of God and as my children, to make wise financial decisions, to appreciate their ancestors and what they can learn from them, to know of my constant love for them, to cultivate a good life and record it, to remember that "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" (Alma 37:6), and to have a good relationship with their Heavenly Father ("Cry unto God for all thy support...let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord, let the affections of they heart be placed on the Lord forever...counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good." Alma 37: 36-37). I strive to engage their minds, to encourage play, and to say "I love you" as often as I can. I strive to offer choices to teach them decision-making skills, keep my emotions under control, remember that they are kids and they are an amazing blessing and they only have one childhood.

Eleanor's Room

It was so much fun putting together my little girl's room. I hoped for a little girl for several years and now that I have one, I'm enjoying every aspect of it, including making her room a beautiful place for her. I wanted to incorporate some of my furniture from when I was young into her space to add some sentiment for her. I started with this beautiful banner and went from there.

A friend of mine in Washington made the banner and brought it to a Domestic Diva Party (where a bunch of girls got together and brought their favorite "domestic" item they used frequently in their home ie. their favorite dish soap or dish gloves to protect their hands or favorite stain remover, or something to make their home beautiful, etc and then exchanged gifts white-elephant style where we would open and steal three times). This banner was one of the gifts, made by my friend Jenni, and I was the lucky one to go home with it. I saved it for years, wrapped around a cardboard tube, intending to plan my daughter's room around it if I ever had a girl. I pulled colors from the banner to use throughout the room. I love the banner and how the room turned out on account of it. The window bench is an Ikea shelf turn on its side. Tutorial here. I picked out the fabric for the quilt and my mom made it. I love how it turned out. The stripped bins are from Target, the dot pillows are from Pottery Barn and were gifted to me by my mom several years ago. 

The white shelf was mine when I was a young girl. It was stained wood so I painted it white to match Eleanor's room.The matching frames on the wall were a thrift store find. I spray painted them white. The green frame is from Michael's. The crib was Oliver's, then Joshua's and now Eleanor's. The wall color is "Tomorrow's Child" from Ace Hardware. 

The lace curtains are from Ikea. 

This shelf was a gift from my mom when we first got married. It was a dark evergreen color so I repainted it (Eagle's Mark from Ace Hardware) to match the room. The big E is from Walmart, the white frame in the middle is from Ikea. The name bunting is handmade by a woman in Australia, who also made name buntings for my boys. She has since closed her etsy shop, sadly. I love her work.

This is what the shelf looked like before I gave it a fresh new coat of paint (as well as some sanding and priming).

The white heart shelf was mine when I was a girl. I also painted it white. The yellow rug is from Urban Outfitters but I don't see it on their site anymore. 

The print in the frame is from this etsy shop. The frame is from Michael's. The wire basket is from Target.

This dresser was definitely a labor of love. I bought it on a local buy, sale, trade site for around $60 and my friend, Autumn, helped me paint it (she's amazing!). She taught me the right way to sand, prime, sand, prime, sand, prime, paint, sand, paint until it looked perfect. We also added a coat of polyurethane at the end (maybe two coats with sanding in between - I can't remember now). It was a long process but I love how it turned out. The color is "Coastal Breeze" found at Ace Hardware (we used good quality paint brushes, not spray paint). The knobs are from Hobby Lobby. The changing pad is from Amazon and the lamp base and shade are from Target.

This is what the dresser looked like when I bought it. The knobs weren't too pretty but I loved the scalloped edges and the sturdy wood. I knew it had a lot of potential. 

 We already had the mirror but it was a light turquoise color so I spray painted it white.

The laundry basket and trash can are also from Target (the trash can was in the dollar section. Can't beat $3.). 

 

The cubby shelf in the closet is one we already had, which was from Target. Her room is the smallest in our house, so I didn't have a whole lot of space to work with for storage items. So putting this shelf in the closet made a lot of sense. I keep her shoes, swim stuff, extra sheets, etc in these. The cubby containers are mostly Martha Stewart from Home Depot, except for the polka dot one, which is from Target. The clock is from Amazon. 

And just to give you an idea of what the room looked like before it was painted and made girly and beautiful. It was our guest room previously. I forgot to take a picture before we moved the bed out but here's the one shot I do have.

Definitely a lot of work, determination, some money and a lot love went into this bedroom for our little girl. It also took a lot of patience because it took much longer than I would have preferred. I started in October 2014 (my sister flew here from Utah to help me paint the walls) and finished final details in October 2015...so a whole year! But I love it and I think this little cutie does as well. Worth the effort! 

I've had people ask me if I tried to be frugal with her room. I used several items I already had (three shelves, the mirror and the crib) to save money. I tried to be frugal with some things (the curtains were inexpensive, the rug was a great deal for a rug (less than $20), and a couple of the frames are thrift store finds). But I did spend money, too, mostly on the window seat bench and paint (for the shelves and walls) as well as paint supplies. It definitely adds up. I also put a lot into the little details, such as the storage bins, frames, clock, vase + flowers, framed print, etc. Each of these is fairly inexpensive on its own but they do add up as well. If you're wanting to redo a room like this, make a list, starting with the things you know you really want (paint for the walls, for example) and then make another "wish list." Look on Craigslist or similar sites for things on your "wish list" to save money. Look in the "As Is" section at Ikea. Bookmark favorite items online and then wait for them to go on clearance before you purchase them. And be prepared to exercise a lot of patience! I am also so thankful for my husband for helping me with things like hanging the shelves and the curtain rods. I'm not good at the kind of stuff but he's amazing. 

Let me know if you have any questions. I would be happy to answer them for you. 

Eleanor Kate

I can't believe it's been two months since our daughter's birth and I still haven't written about it here. I remember when blogging was such a big part of my life and I wondered how people could just stop blogging. I loved recoding my thoughts, accompanied by photos, telling the story of our lives. The desire is still there but the demands are many with three little ones. Therefore, I'm copying my entry from Miss Eleanor's blog so it is at least recorded here. (As I am typing, she is laying next to me, kicking my arm with her adorable little feet.) 

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Dear Eleanor,

You are finally here (and finally have a name)! You were born one week ago from today: Monday, February 16th at 6:53pm. We are so happy you're here. You have filled our home with your sweet spirit and disposition. We absolutely adore you.

Six days old. 

We arrived at Banner Desert Hospital in Mesa a little after 7:00am for my scheduled induction. After filling out the paperwork, our nurse, Liz, escorted us to our "new home" (as she called it). I put on a gown and got "comfortable" in the hospital bed. 

Since I'm positive for Group B Strep (I was with your brothers as well), I had to have four hours of penicillin, then wait a couple of hours and have more penicillin. My doctor started the induction process with a balloon catheter, which took me from 3cm to 5cm while I was receiving the penicillin. Like with Josh, the penicillin was the worst part for me because it felt like my left arm was on fire for hours as the penicillin traveled through the IV. Liz would turn the dosage down, which felt so much better, but would have to turn it up again after a short time so we could complete the dosage before starting the induction. At 3:45pm, I was 6cm and 80% effaced. The contractions weren't too bad; I really tried to focus my breathing through them and it helped. A little after 4:00pm, I started feeling cold and shaking, which I knew meant I was getting closer. I felt I was at a 4 or 5 on a 1-10 pain scale. I knew I wanted an epidural (unexpectedly not having one with Oliver was a bit traumatic for me) so I got the epidural before starting the Pitocin, even though the pain wasn't too intense yet. The epidural made me a little nervous this time because I felt a bit of cramping in my back when it was administered but I was told this was normal (I just don't remember it from my epidural with Josh). I was told the anesthesiologist was the best and could do this with her eyes closed. That made me feel a little better. After getting the epidural, I felt so much better. So warm and relaxed, I almost fell asleep during the Pitocin (I had only had 3.5 hours of sleep the night before; I just couldn't sleep, which was so frustrating.). By 5:40pm, I was at 8cm and 90% effaced. Dr. Labesky came a short time later to break my water. Not long after that, I started pushing. I only pushed for 12 minutes and then heard your sweet little cries at 6:53pm. 

Left: Alex (Dr. Labesky's intern), Dr. Labesky, and our nurse, Kristal. They were all amazing. I love my doctor! We were sad Liz's shift ended and she had to leave (the nurses refer to leaving before the baby is born a "Labor Looser") but Kristal was also an amazing nurse. We loved all of the staff. 

They laid you on my chest and my eyes filled up with tears. It's such an amazing feeling to hear those little cries for the first time and to see you for the first time. It almost felt surreal. I felt gratitude and love wash over me. My first thought when I saw you was that you look like Oliver did when he was a newborn (your dad told me he thought this when he first saw you, too). 

(More pictures - being weighed, Wendel putting diaper on, etc.) 

We wanted Grandma, Oliver and Josh to be able to see you that night but we had to stay in the L&D Room for two hours before being moved to the Recovery Room (where visitors are allowed), so they had to wait until the next morning. Oliver was so excited to see you the next morning. Josh was a little apprehensive but also very curious. 

I love these pictures. Your brothers love you so much. It was so sweet to see them meeting you for the first time.

First picture as a family of five.

Choosing your name wasn't easy for us. We had a difficult time choosing your brothers' names, too. Your dad likes to wait until after he sees you to decide on your name. I love older, classic names and really wanted to name you Kate, which has been on my name list since 2008. I liked the name Genevieve for your middle name because it's a family name (my maternal great grandmother's name and my paternal great grandmother's middle name. Both women were wonderful, charitable women. I was reading recently about my PGG. She met a man on a bus who needed dental work done so she took him to a dentist and paid for the work to be done. She also saw a little boy who needed a coat so she bought him one. What a great example to look up to!) Your dad liked the name Genevieve for your middle name but didn't like Kate for your first name at all. He felt it was too popular and just didn't really like it for your first name. But there weren't any other names he felt strongly about. And he wouldn't discuss names until after your birth, which was stressful for me. 

The day after your birth, one of the nurses told me she was a little concerned about your right eye because you weren't opening it. She said it looked like it was fused shut and she had called a specialist to come look at it. She told me he would likely have to cut it open or you might possibly need surgery to open it. 

So we were sitting in the hospital room, you asleep in the bassinet between us, discussing names the day after you were born. The eye doctor, Dr. Underdall, would be coming soon, and we had a little time to ourselves before he arrived. Your dad was looking up names online and said, "What do you think of Eleanor?" We had friends back in WA who named their daughter Eleanor years ago and at the time, we had both said we really liked the name. I still liked it but wasn't sure if I wanted to use it. You dad read the meaning: "A light that shines in darkness." Right then Dr. Underdall walked in. The nurse had already put numbing drops in your eyes. He used a metal clamp to open your right eyelid so he could examine your eye. The nurse assisted him, which they did in a far part of the room, so we couldn't see. It hurt my heart to hear you scream the way you did. We expected him to tell us he would need to cut your eyelid open or something along those lines. Instead, he told us you were born with Microphthalmia, which means your right eye is about half the size of your left eye. He said your right eye stopped developing in utero, around 20 weeks. He said he could see cataracts on your eye and that you would likely need surgery to remove them. He said you may not have vision in that eye. He referred us to some specialists in the valley and then left. 

Two days later, still in shock and feeling uncertainty, we were sitting in the waiting room at the Retina Specialist's Office in Phoenix. Your dad again brought up the name Eleanor. I needed to let it sink in a little more. I liked the name and liked the meaning a lot. I just didn't like making such a big decision under pressure (we had to let the hospital know by Friday and it was Thursday). 

At your appointment, Dr. Bryan did an ultra sound of your eye and found cataracts and a thin rod, connecting from the back of your eye to the front. He said usually this rod goes away in utero but didn't in your right eye. He said surgery would be necessary to remove the rod and the cataracts, to give you the best chance for vision in that eye. He also said it looked like the retina was attached but surgery would let us know for sure. He wanted the surgery scheduled when you were one month old. The thought of my little one month old baby having surgery made me nervous. It was a lot to take in in only a few days. He said considering the spectrum of Microphthalmia, you are on the better end of it. You have an iris and a pupil. Your retina appears to be attached. You may have vision in that eye. 

Your dad and I talked on the way home about what a special girl you are. We talked about the strengths you will be blessed with to help you in this life and how you are blessed with wonderful older brothers to look out for you and be an example to you. We talked about how we hope we can be what we need to be for you. We let our tears freely fall as we talked about these things. We then decided Eleanor is the perfect name for you. You may not have vision in one eye but you will always be a light shining in darkness. I requested Kate as your middle name. I still liked Genevieve but I liked how Kate sounded with Eleanor. It took your dad a few minutes to think it over but he agreed. We think we'll call you Norah for short. We have always loved Norah Jones' music (The Long Way Home was our wedding song) and considered Norah for you as an option for your first name, so it seems to be a fitting nick name. 

We love you, sweet girl. You have already blessed our family with your sweet, amazing spirit. I look into your eyes and mine fill up with tears because I can feel the Spirit. We can't wait to see the great things your Father in Heaven has in store for you here on earth. We're so glad you're here.