My "Mom Mission Statement"

My friend Emily Poland posted on Facebook recently, asking her mom friends to share: "What's important to you? What legacy do you want to leave your children? And what pitfalls are you working to avoid?" She's putting together a Mom Mission Statement and wanted some inspiration. I really love this idea so I'm sharing mine here. 

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My Mom Mission Statement

I want to teach my children to "never be weary of good works" (Alma 37:34), to recognize how the Spirit speaks to them and to have faith and courage to act on those promptings, that they can do hard things, that just because something is hard, doesn't mean it isn't right, to be kind to others, to be accepting of differences, to serve and love others, that the key to feeling happy is serving others, to cherish the scriptures, to get along with and love each other as siblings (this is a huge focus right now), to appreciate diversity, to eat healthy and take care of their bodies, to value education, to find what they are passionate about and pursue it, to make a life plan and make goals to accomplish it, I want them to know that sacrifices often make experiences sacred (take parenthood for example), to love books and learning, I want to teach them responsibility (contributing to family responsibilities is a big focus as well), to be respectful, to say sorry and ask for forgiveness when they're in the wrong (I get lots of opportunities to lead by example with this one), to "be patient in thy afflictions" (D&C 24:8), to have open communication, confidence but also humble hearts, to know of their worth as children of God and as my children, to make wise financial decisions, to appreciate their ancestors and what they can learn from them, to know of my constant love for them, to cultivate a good life and record it, to remember that "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" (Alma 37:6), and to have a good relationship with their Heavenly Father ("Cry unto God for all thy support...let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord, let the affections of they heart be placed on the Lord forever...counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good." Alma 37: 36-37). I strive to engage their minds, to encourage play, and to say "I love you" as often as I can. I strive to offer choices to teach them decision-making skills, keep my emotions under control, remember that they are kids and they are an amazing blessing and they only have one childhood.

These are the days

It's midnight. Way past my bedtime. Mornings start early around here, usually between 5:30-6:30. This morning I could hear Josh calling my name from his crib: "Mama, mama." I looked at my phone. 4:15am. I stumbled into his room, squinting in the light from his lamp. He had thrown his blankets and binki onto the floor, as he does when he's done sleeping and ready to go. I told him to lay back down; that it was still night time and time to sleep. "Ol-ver?" he asked. "Oliver is sleeping," I told him. "Daddy?" he asked. "Daddy is sleeping." That seemed to convince him and he laid back down, took his binki and favorite monkey blankie and allowed me to cover him with a blanket. Exactly one hour later, at 5:15am, I heard the same thing: "Mama, mama." We went through the exact same process and he went back to sleep. At 6:00am, he was at it again, but this time he was adamant about getting up for the day. With a heavy sigh, I took him into our room and put him on our bed with some of his books. I laid back down and closed my eyes. He shoved the book in my face, pointing at animals, wanting me to read to him. I sleepily said, "Duck. The duck says quack." He went over and put the book in Wendel's face. "Daddy, Daddy." Wendel mumbled a good morning to Josh and fell back asleep. Soon after, Oliver came into the room. Minutes later, both boys were downstairs in the kitchen and our day had officially begun.

And so it does every day. Not always as early as 4:15 but 6:00 is a guarantee. If one of them happens to sleep a little longer, the other will definitely get up by 6:00.

Tonight my friend, Autumn, asked if I wanted to go to the gym. We have been going to the gym together, on and off, for a couple of years. Sometimes we do so great and go almost every night but then we go through spells where we don't go for months. Tonight was the first time after such a spell. Being 5 months pregnant, plus getting up early and not getting to rest during the day (Oliver no longer naps), doesn't exactly instill a desire to spend my evenings at the gym when I could be relaxing with my husband, watching tv, or going to bed early. (Oh, sleep, how I miss you.)

And yet, I sit here in bed, past midnight, blogging. I think I've blogged three times in the past year but tonight I'm making it a priority. I just need to write this down.

Being a mother to young children is difficult. I've expressed that here before. It's, hands down, the most difficult thing I've ever done. But also the most amazing thing I've ever done. And absolutely the most exhausting thing I've ever done. Tonight as I was doing leg reps at the gym, the song, "These are the Days" by 10,000 Maniacs came on and I sat there, on that machine, with tears running down my face. I thought about my sweet boys, and how these are the days I'll remember. It's difficult to picture it now but someday they will be grown and on their own. They will have their own families and lives and be busy with their responsibilities. They might live far away from us and from each other. The days are numbered when sweet Joshua will lay his head on my shoulder and tuck his hands between his heart and mine, where his sweet little voice will call my name, where dancing with him in my arms will light up his face with a huge smile. And sweet Oliver, as strong willed as he can be, telling me, "I still love you, even when we have rough days" and "You're the best mommy in the world to me." The days where he begs for three books at bedtime, even if it's late. The days where he and Josh are at my feet constantly, wanting to be where I am, wanting to help me cook, bake, clean (hitting the walls with the handle of the broom as they attempt to sweep), following me upstairs, wanting to be nearby.

These are the formative years. Am I doing enough? I try really hard to be a good mom, to engage them and love them, teach and guide them, encourage and nurture them. Although it doesn't seem like it now, all too soon they will be gone. I will have a clean, quite house. But I will miss their laughter, the cute things they say, their little affections. The days are so difficult and exhausting...am I appreciating them enough? It can be difficult to appreciate the little moments when I'm so caught up in the day to day grind. So I guess this post is a reminder to myself to do just that. To sit back, enjoy and appreciate. To show love to my boys and enjoy my time with them as much as I possibly can.

"These Are Days" by 10,000 Maniacs 

These are the days.

These are days you'll remember. 
Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this. 
And as you feel it, you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky. 
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. 

These are days you'll remember. 
When May is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in 
Every hour. 
You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky. 
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. 

These are days. 

These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break. 
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face. 
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be. 
See the signs and know their meaning. 
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be. 
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.

Photos taken last Saturday night before our Ward Trunk or Treat. Joshua - 23 mo, Oliver - 4 1/2

Parenting is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

Parenting is the most difficult thing I've ever done. It's more difficult than serving a full-time mission, more difficult than going through a painful relationship (being engaged three separate times), more difficult than going through grad school with a newborn baby who was collicy while having nursing issues...I think because those things were short-term. They were difficult while I was in them but then they ended and I took what I learned from them. And I guess I'll look back on motherhood someday and think it went by way too quickly and I'll have lots of nuggets of wisdom and I'll be incredibly grateful for the journey. I am grateful for it now, but it's just so exhausting. I try very hard to be the a really good mom to my boys; I take them to the park, play with them, chase them and tickle them, read to them, do art projects with them, take them fun places, go to the library with them, dance in the kitchen with them, kick the ball with them, laugh with them...I love having fun with them but I also feel exhausted a lot of the time. Sometimes I think if I had kids in my 20s I would have more energy. But I don't have any regrets. I'm glad I had five years of marriage with Wendel before our amazing boys came along and I'm grateful for my degrees I worked so hard to obtain during those five years. I'm incredibly thankful for Oliver and Joshua. They bring me so much joy. But as I said, parenting is the most difficult thing I've ever done. You don't understand until you get there and then you appreciate everything your parents did for you. It's kind of humbling. I just wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't feel exhausted. Maybe someday when our kids are grown but then I know I'll miss them terribly. Wendel said he already misses Oliver...he misses him at ages two and three. Parenting is emotional, too. It's so many things. But above all, I really do feel blessed. I know that I am. But I also feel exhausted and drained and it's difficult to keep up. Someday when I'm a grandma and might not remember just how exhausting being a mom was (like I could forget), I might pull up this post and remind myself. But until then, I will try to cherish the years I have with my sweet boys and do my best to keep up. :)

mommy wins

I was feeling overwhelmed this evening. It had been a busy day. The kids were both melting down, Joshua was especially fussy (he's teething) and clingy, the dishes were stacked up, toys were all over the kitchen floor (which I kept stepping on), I hadn't made dinner, the entire house was messy and cluttered and I felt exhausted. (As a side note, I always feel exhausted taking care of two energetic boys). I felt frustrated that I do the same things over and over again, just to do them again. I clean up; Oliver takes the cushions off of the couch so he can jump off of the couch onto them (he is only allowed to do this with our old couch in our not-as-nice living room), he brings a pile of blankets and pillows (big and small) into the living room or in other places throughout the house, which he calls his "nest." I cleaned out the junk drawer; the next day it was a disaster again. I decorated our credenza with Fall decorations; an hour later Oliver took off with the little pumpkins and was playing with them. I sweep and mop; Oliver accidentally drops food and cuts paper onto the floor. I do the dishes; they keep coming. I do laundry and forget to transfer it to the dryer so I wash it again...Sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I've been walking around Disneyland all day with how sore my feet are from standing and then realize I have hardly sat down the entire day. Sometimes (like today), the boys don't nap at the same time and all I want to do is close my eyes for 15 minutes but just as I get both kids to sleep, the one who was asleep first wakes up. I rarely get through my to-do list. Sometimes I get frustrated that I can't focus much time or energy on cleaning (specifically our bedroom, which is the most neglected room in the house and far from the sanctuary I wish it was) because the demands of children are far too great. Sometimes I feel I am in the middle of the forest and it's difficult to see the beauty because I'm too wrapped up with what is right in front of me.

One thing I miss about working outside of my home is the positive affirmation I got from my supervisor and co-workers. Maybe it was due to the nature of the job (working for CPS is a really tough job) or because I'm in the social work field or because my supervisor was just amazing...but he gave us a lot of positive affirmation, support and encouragement. It's nice to hear you're doing okay to give you that push to keep going. It's nice to feel appreciated. Maybe I shouldn't need that but I guess I do.

So tonight I started thinking about my "mommy wins" today: those positive things I did for my kids that I sometimes don't recognize.

• I took my kids to the park this morning. Oliver was able to run around and get some energy out and play with his friend. I held Joshua on my lap and we went down the slide several times together. 
• I took the boys to the Fun Van program at the library (an educational/social program for kids, which also includes a parent education/support group for the parents). We went on a nature walk with the kids, sang together, and played together. 
• I checked out books for Oliver and read to him before his nap. 
• I sat with Oliver on his blanket on the kitchen floor and we ate yogurt popsicles together. 
• I played with Joshua while Oliver slept, tickling him and making him laugh. I encouraged him to balance while standing on his own. I held him while he drank his bottle. 
• I told Oliver and Joshua I love them throughout the day and flashed the "I love you" sign to Oliver. 
• I raced with Oliver to encourage him to go potty and get into the car so we could leave on time. I play games with him to motivate him, which he likes (and which exhausts me). 
• I gave Oliver positive feedback for going potty, drawing pictures, sharing with Joshua, etc. I had him put stickers on the calendar (once he gets a week's worth he gets a prize) so he could see how well he's doing. 
• I didn't yell at Oliver. I felt frustrated at times but kept my cool (not always the case). 
• I kissed both boys numerous times throughout the day. 
• I fed Oliver a healthy dinner of chicken, broccoli, pasta and apples. And he ate all of it. (I try really hard to feed my kids healthy food.)
• I prayed with Oliver before lunch and dinner. We thanked Heavenly Father for all He blesses us with and especially our eternal family and a daddy who works so hard to support us. 
• I only allowed Oliver to watch two hours of tv. I encouraged him to play and use his imagination, color, and put stickers on his pumpkin. This is more difficult for me than sticking him in front of the tv but I'm determined not to do it.
• I held Joshua in my arms tonight after I read to him and rocked him in his glider as I prayed out loud. I thanked Heavenly Father for sending him to our family. I prayed for our boys' safety and health. I told Joshua how much I love him as I put him in his crib, nestled in his sleep sack. 
• I made sure Oliver brushed his teeth this morning and evening. 

• I read from the scriptures this evening. I know that staying close to the Holy Ghost is imperative as I'm raising my children and this is how I can invite Him to reside with me. I feel inspired as I read from the scriptures. I can't say I do it every day as I should but I try to do it and appreciate when I do. Tonight I read in Doctrine & Covenants 121: 26, "God shall give you knowledge by His Hold Spirit, yea, by the unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost..." which is a reminder that I need that knowledge in this important job of raising children. (As I side note, last night I went visiting teaching and the lesson was on the divine mission of Jesus Christ as the creator. Part of the lesson talked about our divine mission as women. There was a quote by Joseph Smith: “You are now placed in a situation where you can act according to those sympathies which God has planted in your bosoms,” said the Prophet Joseph Smith. “If you live up to these principles how great and glorious!—if you live up to your privilege, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates." I love that! I need angles as my associates. Being a mother is not easy. Parenting with intent, striving to raise responsible children who turn into responsible adults in a loving but firm manner, children who love God and have testimonies of the restored gospel, responding with love and patience when I want to pull my hair out, knowing what is best for my children and how to help them...yes, I will gladly take angels as my associates in this role. I also read this tonight in Doctrine & Covenants 123:17, "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren (and sisters), let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." Sometimes I need that reminder to be cheerful in all things...especially when I am constantly exhausted and the demands are many.)
• As a side note, the woman we visit taught bore her testimony about what a priviledge it is to stay at home with your children. She has stayed home in the past but now has to work full time outside of her home. As she talked, her eyes filled up with tears and I couldn't help but think about what a difficult transition it was for me to leave my job and stay home but how grateful I am for that opportunity now. It really is a priviledge and I'm so thankful I can be with my boys every day. 

I guess I did okay today. If I sift through the mundane tasks, I can see that I supported my children and helped them feel safe (and kept them safe) and happy. I encouraged Oliver's creativity and imagination, allowed him to get exercise and get energy out, strengthened our relationship as mother and son with both boys, and prayed for / sought inspiration on their behalf. 

Parenting is difficult (to say the least). It's nice to sit back and take note of the "wins" once in a while. 

Photos taken in August 2013 (Oliver: 3.5 years, Joshua: 8 months)

The decision to stay home

Stopping by to dust off the old blog.  I still think blogging is great and I still want to blog but I've been surprised at how busy I've been staying home with two kids.  It has been quite the adjustment. 

Deciding to stay home with my children was not an easy decision for me.  I know it is an easy decision for many women but I really struggled with it.  This is not due to not loving my children or not wanting to spend time with them.  I was in graduate school when Oliver was born and then I worked for CPS to pay off my MSW up until April of this year.  It became comfortable to me.  While I was apprehensive to work for CPS, I learned several things about myself and was reminded that I can do hard things.  I liked interviewing children and having them trust and open up to me.  I liked being the voice for those who could not defend themselves.  I appreciated my supportive supervisor and co-workers and enjoyed working in an environment with people who were there because they care about the safety and well-being of children.  I found joy in something I never thought I would do or want to do.  And yet here I am, looking back on an extremely difficult job, appreciating the opportunity I had to make a difference.  After I told my supervisor I was going to turn in my notice, I cried.  I was that attached to my job.  Sure there were plenty of difficult things about my job - I'm not trying to candy-coat the high case loads, getting yelled at on a regular basis, spending hours in court to simply stand before the judge for 30 seconds, conducting interviews on a 120 degree summer afternoon in Arizona on someone's front porch, seeing and hearing heartbreaking situations over and over again to the point where I became objective to the words in the reports...the days were never long enough to accomplish what was required of me and paperwork was always stacked high on my desk and shelves.  My message light was constantly blinking, demanding my attention, and I often cringed when my phone rang, dreading who might be on the other end of the receiver and what they might be upset about.  But the good and the bad - it became a part of me.  It strengthened my character and gave me hope that even though most people don't, people can change.  It gave me confidence that I can do anything if I am determined, feel right about it and have support.  It made me appreciate my blessed life; my beautiful children, my wonderful husband, who - though isn't perfect - is perfect for me and treats me with respect.  This is why it was difficult to close that chapter of my life, if only temporarily.

Staying home has been an adjustment not only for me but for Oliver as well.  We have both learned a few things and things are going much more smoothly than they were initially.  The other day I had to stand back and soak up the joy I felt as I heard Oliver repeating the words from the book, The Little Engine that Could, as he pushed his little trains along their wooden track on the living room floor.  I find myself smiling from ear to ear as Oliver and I dance around the living room to music or kick the ball back and forth as Joshua is jumping and smiling in his jumper nearby.  I love watching Josh wobble as he's learning how to sit on his own and rock back and forth on his hands and knees as he's building up the courage to begin crawling.  I love that Oliver seeks my comfort when he falls down or doesn't feel well.  I love that I am there to comfort him and give him hugs and kisses and put bandaids on his scrapped knees.  I love seeing the pure joy on Oliver's face as I chase him and tickle him and he laughs uncontrollably.  I know someday he won't eagerly say, "Mommy, you want to chase me?"  Instead he will want to be in his bedroom with the door closed, listening to music or doing his own thing.  He won't always come to me or his dad when he's seeking comfort.  Today, he wants to be just like his dad and copies him constantly.  If daddy walks out to the truck with his hat on backwards and pushes the buttons to unlock the code to the truck door, Oliver is following suit, turning his hat around backwards and pushing the buttons as well before climbing into his carseat.  This is such an impressionable time where I have an opportunity to influence my children for good.  It is a time to put my past endeavors aside and focus on the things of eternity - the things that really matter most right now, which things are putting my efforts into raising our children and strengthening my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ daily.

I've realized only recently how imperative raising children is to our learning experience here on earth.  I believe there are things I am learning as I'm raising my children that would be difficult to learn otherwise.  (Also, as a side note, I believe those who don't have the opportunity to raise children on earth will have the opportunity to do so at a later time.)  This is such a time of learning for me.  I look back on this post and I can't help but smile at the first-time-mother version of myself who had no idea how difficult raising children could be, no idea how I would pour over parenting books and kneel in prayer as tears run down my face, asking for patience and guidance in parenting my son.  And now here I am, right in the middle of it.  The daily grind, the mundane, the joyful, the trying moments (hours, days...), the self-talk to get myself through the day, the adorable quotes that make me laugh, the love that fills my heart to the brim for both of my children, the continuos daily chores (dishes, laundry, sweeping, feeding...), Joshua's adorable "square smile" and sweet disposition, reading the same stories over and over again, the way my heart melts when Oliver randomly says, "Mommy, I love you," the moments I get to witness that I would otherwise miss. 

I'm grateful for all of it.  I am blessed.

[Photos taken in May 2013]

around here lately...

This little guy is blessing our family with his sweet spirit. He is amazingly sweet and I sometimes cry when I look into his eyes because I can feel the Spirit so strongly. We are also incredibly tired and trying our best to transition to two kids. The most difficult part is Oliver's transition, which isn't going so smoothly. The "newborn stage" is so difficult for me. I know at some point it will get easier...looking forward to that. But for now, I will try to enjoy the sweet moments. We are so blessed.

I love how Oliver has integrated Joshua into his train-playing. 

*two-week photo shoot*

While Wendel and Oliver were at church last Sunday, I pulled out my camera and took some photos of Joshua.  Babies change so quickly at this age.  I'm so glad I took the time to do this little shoot (even though a little nap would have been nice too).  Here are some of my favorites.

 I will add my favorite image after I send out birth announcements. I love our sweet little boy. 

ETA my favorite:

Joshua

Joshua Pratt Schultz was born on December 24, 2012. He weighed 7 lbs. 7 oz. and was 19 3/4 inches long.

What a perfect Christmas present.  Our sweet little Joshua was born on Christmas Eve. I woke up at 2:30 am on the 24th, feeling contractions.  They were about ten minutes apart, then seven minutes, then sporadic with about a half hour between and then back to ten minutes.  Since they weren't consistent, I stayed in bed but kept timing them.  At 8:00 am, I called my OB's office to see if I could come in that day to see how far along I was.  I was told they were mostly closed with just a skeleton staff and to go to the hospital if my water broke or if my contractions got to ten within an hour.  Wendel and I talked about going to breakfast since my mom was in town to be with Oliver (she flew in the night before - perfect timing) but we decided to sleep a little longer instead and never made it to breakfast as my water broke around 9:30 am.  We were then off to the hospital.  My mom had taken Oliver "train hunting" (we live near a train track and he loves to have us drive to it and watch for trains to come by) so she met us at the gas station where we were filling up so we could kiss Oliver goodbye.  We got to Banner Gateway Hospital at about 10:40 am (after searching for something to eat - I knew I wouldn't be able to eat until after he was born once I was admitted and I was really hungry.  Sadly, the only place we could find nearby was a Carl's Jr. so I had tater tots and an orange juice, which just didn't cut it).  We got checked in and checked out in triage, where they confirmed my water had broke and then took me into the labor and delivery room.  Even though my water had broke, my contractions were still not five minutes apart or really completely consistent.  I was also positive for Group B Strep so I needed two cycles of Penicillin before the baby came if possible.  The two cycles took four hours.  The part I hated about that was feeling a burning sensation go through my left arm (the IV was in my left hand) as the Penicillin went through my body.  I was also positive with Group B Strep with Oliver but I don't remember that sensation at all.  Maybe because I was in so much pain.  About half way through, I got the epidural, which went smoothly.  The nurses were so nice and friendly.  I was told I was the only patient in L&D that day (until about 6:00 pm, when one more came in) so I think we got a little extra attention.  Once I had the epidural, I was just chatting with them pain free, which was so nice.  They gave me Petocin to get the labor going and had me start pushing.  The doctor arrived at 5:25 pm and Joshua was born at 5:39 pm.  I pushed for about 45 minutes total.  The nurses laid him on my chest right away without washing him off first, other than rubbing him down a little with a towel (also different from Oliver's birth).  Wendel has a weak stomach, so that was kind of hard for him but I kind of liked being able to see him right away.  When they laid him on my chest, I was overcome with emotion and started to cry.  I had been worried about loving another child the way I love Oliver and didn't think it would be possible but immediately felt love for him.  It was such a sweet experience.

Joshua's and Oliver's births were like night and day.  Oliver's birth was very traumatic for me, as the epidural wore off hours before he came and I wasn't given any more.  I physically shuddered for months after his birth when I thought about it.  With Oliver's birth, I tore and they didn't numb me when they stitched me up.  With Joshua's birth, I tore as well but couldn't feel a thing and talked with the doctor as she stitched me up.  When Oliver was placed on my chest, I could barely focus on him because I was being stitched up without anesthetic and was in extreme pain.  I couldn't even enjoy that first moment with my son.  This was such a better experience for me as far as labor and delivery.  I think the most painful part was the IV because they had to try three four times (I have really small veins) and finally ended up putting it on the top of my left hand, which was really painful).  I am so thankful for the epidural!  It was kind of annoying not being able to feel my legs at all, but I could feel pressure to push and that was perfect.  The labor was shorter and it was overall a good experience.  We weren't too impressed with the staff who attended to us in recovery but it was Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and I'm sure no one wanted to be there.  The hospital gave us a little stocking with wash cloths and an ornament inside, which was nice of them. 

 

When my mom brought Oliver up to the hospital and he walked into the room, he exclaimed, "Baby brother came out!"  It was really cute.

Oliver (age 2.5 - 3 years old in March) meeting his baby brother for the first time.

So far Oliver is doing pretty good with Joshua.  My mom bought Oliver a little baby boy doll and he practiced taking care of his "little brother" before Joshua came home.  I think that helped.  Sometimes when I am holding Joshua, Oliver will come up to me and say, "Mommy, hold you" (meaning he wants me to hold him).  As long as I give him 1:1 attention too, he is fine.  However, I've had my mom in town helping me with Oliver and Joshua so we'll see how it goes now that my mom left (I was so sad to see her go this morning.  She was so helpful.)  It was cute - my mom told Oliver to say hi to his baby brother the other day.  Oliver waved his hand and said "Hi" and then said, "He doesn't talk" and walked away.  It was so cute.

Joshua actually looks quite a bit like his brother when he was a baby.

He is the sweetest little baby and I love to just hold him and look at his sweet little face.  Babies are so precious.

He gave us a bit of a scare on December 28th.  I took him to his first doctor appointment that morning.  The night before was terrible.  He would nurse for an hour, seem content for about ten minutes and then want to eat again.  I was bleeding and sore and he didn't seem satisfied.  I had nursing issues with Oliver so I figured this must be the case again.  My milk had just come in the night before his appointment so I didn't know this was the case for sure.  At his appointment, we found out he lost a pound since birth (weighing 6 lbs. 7 oz.) and was dehydrated.  His oxygen level was at 95 (borderline low) and he was at the 50% for Jaundice.  His eyes looked cloudy and his face looked a tiny bit yellow.  He had only had one wet diaper in the last 24 hours, which I knew was concerning.  His doctor (who is amazing) got him a bottle of formula right away.  He ate the 2 ounces quickly.  She set up an appointment for a weight check.  She called me later that afternoon to check on him and I told her there were still no wet diapers and he spit up most of the bottle I had recently fed him.  He also seemed very drowsy and not alert when we woke him.  At that point, she told me to go to the ER.  That was kind of scary to hear.  I called Wendel and he met me at Cardon Children's Hospital in Mesa.  (Again, it was so nice that my mom was here to be with Oliver and drive me up there, since we are down to one car right now.)  We had several nurses try to give him an IV in his arm with no luck.  After four attempts, they had two nurses from NICU come down to the ER to put one in a vein in his head.  Even though I know the IV was only in a vein in his head, it was still hard to watch and looked terrible once attached.

Poor little guy.

We spent 20 hours in a little ER room.  We were admitted to the hospital but never left the ER room because all the beds were full.  He eventually had four wet diapers while we were there and his blood work came back fine so we we finally able to go home the next afternoon.  We are glad that experience is over and Joshua is okay.  We were not impressed with most of the staff and the whole experience was long and frustrating.

Joshua with Grandma Louise

It is today, a week after our baby boy's birth, that we finally decided on his name.  I knew it would take a long time.  We just didn't agree on boy names; those I loved, he didn't and those he liked a lot, I didn't really care for.  We had a list of names we both didn't dislike and we have even struggled picking a name from that list.  In the end, we chose Joshua because we like that it is a scriptural name.  In the Old Testament, Joshua was appointed by God to lead the Israelites from Egypt to the Promised Land after Moses' death.  Joshua means "God rescues" and the Hebrew meaning is "Jehovah saves."  We like the idea of naming him after someone who was close to God and is a good example to look up to.  His middle name is Pratt, which is a family name.  Wendel's middle name (one of them) is also Pratt.  His Grandma Rose recently passed away, the weekend before Joshua was born.  She also had the name of Pratt, as she is a descendent of Parley P. Pratt.  During Wendel's last conversation with her before she died, he told her he wanted to name our son's middle name Pratt, after her and after himself.  She told him she would like that. Wendel pointed out this scripture to me from The Book of Mormon tonight, which kind of expresses how we felt as we were trying to choose a name for him:

5 For they remembered the words which their ^afather Helaman spake unto them. And these are the words which he spake:

 6 Behold, my sons, I desire that ye should remember to keep the commandments of God; and I would that ye should declare unto the people these words. Behold, I have given unto you the names of our first ^aparents who came out of the land of Jerusalem; and this I have done that when you remember your names ye may remember them; and when ye remember them ye may remember their works; and when ye remember their works ye may know how that it is said, and also written, that they were ^bgood.

 7 Therefore, my sons, I would that ye should do that which is good, that it may be said of you, and also written, even as it has been said and written of them.

Heleman 5:5-7

I really like that...giving our son a name so he can remember the people he was named after and their  works.

It has been a busy week for us.  We are tired but feel so blessed.  Joshua is waking up so signing off for now.  Hoping to not let as much time pass before checking back in here.