randomness

1. I finally finished my huge research paper. I have been working on this paper for months (it is the same one I was working on when I started having contractions with Oliver). I have worked so hard on it. The topic is the effects of parenting classes among low-income populations, specifically studying the program that I coordinate at Children's Home Society called SPARK (Strong Partners and Relationships for Kids). It is really cool because this research is actually beneficial - it will help the Federal Government decide if they want to continue funding the program, help CHSW better serve their clients, and quite honestly, it has really increased my knowledge about the program and consequently I feel that I will be better at my job now because of it. I finished up around 3:00 this morning. I was actually super nervous to email it to my professor because I kept thinking, "What if I missed something? What if there is a formatting issue or I spelled something wrong and didn't catch it?" All of that hard work and then stupid mistakes would not be cool. I actually still have clammy hands thinking about it. I am kind of a perfectionist with school, I guess, but I work hard and want to reflect that to my professors. Anyway, I am so glad that is behind me! (A special thanks to my sister-in-law, Bethaney, who is here helping us out with Oliver. Without her, I would've failed this class.)

2. So, I have shingles. How lame is that? My doctor said it is from the stress I'm experiencing in my life. Nice. At least now I know why my left leg has been tingly and sensitive for the past few weeks. I was getting worried that it would be a permanent thing.

3. I really don't like pumping.

4. I heard about Today's Letters recently and I checked it out today. I really like the concept of daily letters and I love that this whole site is devoted to strengthening marriages. I especially like this.

5. I've decided that my favorite kinds of food are Indian and Mediterranean. At least for now. Lucky me, I had both this week.

6. I wonder if I will ever scrapbook again? I miss it.

7. This picture of Oliver makes me smile. We took him on a walk around the neighborhood the other night and I snapped this after Wendel took him out of his stroller when we got home. His smiles are contagious.

the cutest suits

DownEast has the cutest swimming suits. Maybe buying one of these will help encourage me to loose this baby weight. [Actually, it's not that I need encouragement as much as I need time. Sigh.]





Check out their whole line here.

thoughts on being a mother

[Tulips from Wendel for Mother's Day]

"Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." - M. Russell Ballard

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Mother's Day is extra special to me this year. I finally understand what it means to be a mother. It is amazing and hard and overwhelming and sacred. I like that quote about the joy of motherhood coming in moments. Even though Oliver is still a baby, I think that is so true. I definitely don't feel joy all the time, but I cherish those moments when I do (which is quite often, especially moments that don't occur in the middle of the night).

I want to be the kind of mom who my kids to talk to about anything. I want to have a house of order; a home that is clean and inviting, a place where our kids can bring their friends and feel comfortable spending time. It is hard for me to let that go right now (the clean home part). When Wendel an I made the decision for me to pursue graduate school, we knew there would be sacrifices to make. When we decided to have a baby right as I am beginning my graduate program, we knew there would be even more sacrifices to make, and letting the house get a little messy (or a lot messy, depending on the room and how accessible it is to the public eye) is one of those sacrifices. But I do want an organized, welcoming home one day. I want to be a good homemaker. I want our home to be a house of learning. I want Oliver and our other children to know that education is important, not only secular education, but learning in general.

Yesterday I came home from the library to pump. Oliver was being fussy, as he sometimes is (he has a gassy tummy a lot). I picked him up and he immediately smiled at me, and continued to do so for about ten minutes. It was probably just a coincidence that he was happy all of the sudden, but it made me feel like maybe he actually knows who his mom is and was excited to see me. With so many people caring for him lately while I've been at the library (8-10 hours a day, every day but Sunday), I worry that he might not know who I am. It made me so happy and was exactly what I needed.

Even though I feel like a missionary in the MTC saying "Missions are so amazing," (not really having any idea of what a mission is really like yet) as I am at the beginning of this journey of motherhood, I still want to say that I think motherhood is amazing. It is such an incredible blessing to be trusted by my Heavenly Father with one of his children. I am so grateful for this opportunity to be Oliver's mother.

*some favorites*

I am finally able to share some more recent pictures of our little guy.

The following six pictures were taken by my brother's girlfriend, Amalie. She did a fantastic job. I love them. (The most frustrating thing about being a "photographer" is being able to capture candid moments for other families but not your own, so this really was such a great gift to me. Thanks again Amalie!)







The rest of these pictures are random pictures we've taken over the past couple of months, in no particular order.